Havent done this in a while. Almost forgotten the feeling. That overwhelming feeling, when you are doing something and you just cant help yourself. This is not that feeling. I'm almost pushing myself to type some stuff. You want to stop typing and you just cant. You try and fail, then you try again only to fail again. Suddenly you are so tired, you stop trying. You dont really care whats going up in your blog anymore. Thats exactly whats happening here. I just wanted to type. No particular sequence of thoughts. No meaningful choice of words. Not necessarily coherent. Just type.

I'm bored. I can tell from past experience thats a very bad state of mind. Not 'cos I dont know what to do, but 'cos my imagination kicks in and I've all kinds of ideas. About a variety of things. Mostly questions. And I never spend more than few minutes contemplating the answer to those questions. Shit, thats scary. Shows a total lack of direction.

Bored is the wrong word. Restless is the right word. Or maybe not. I dont know and I dont think I really care anymore. So what if I dont know the right word. So what if I dont know what is running in my head. So what if I'm confused. Confusion is good, it always leads to clarity.

What is the worst thing that one can expect ?? I say its empathy. How, on gods green earth, can we possibly expect someone to actually understand whats running in our head ?? Of course not. Empathy - the word was invented out of purely selfish motives. A perfect word for someone who's life is so sad, there is nobody to listen to him.

"The aim of life is self development" - Oscar Wilde. What the hell does that mean ?? Development is an open ended word. Self development is way too open for interpretation to derive anything meaningful.

I just want to melt away into something abstract and finally not exist at all. I want to forget this mortal presence of mine. I dont want any trace of my existence - physical or otherwise. I want to exist in a metaphysical state. I dont want to have any form or substance. I want to be just a thought, a concept. Something that is not bound by constraints. Something that will allow any person to realise their full potential. I always thought 'Hope' was the most powerful and the most influential state that a mind can ever be possessed by. It can drive an individual beyond reason. Beyond rationale. Of late, i've been thinking what 'Imagination' is capable of.

"I am not young enough to know everything" - Mark Twain. Do you really understand what he meant ?? If you do, I'm sure you have got it right. Know why ?? The reason that line sounds so appealing is because it allows you to decide for yourself what he might have meant when he said that.

There is an undeniable beauty about imagination. Nobody is wrong, only less right. Anything that binds you, anything that compels you is bad for you. Pretty much everything you do should be a function of your own free will. Like right now, I'm compelled to type. And hence, all of this. Is it doing me a whole lot of good ?? I guess not. Is this going to come back to hurt me at some point in time ?? I dont know and I dont care.

So whats the point I'm trying to make with this post. Nothing. I've nothing to say. Go find your own truth and make your own mistakes. Where's the fun if someone else is going to do it for you ??