Somebody save me. If you cant, please kill me.

Before you read on, none of the below mentioned is an effect of me reading or watching "The DaVinci Code". I dont want Dan Brown to get ahead of himself. I personally feel that book is one of the most over rated pieces of fiction ever written.

The 14th century church divides sin into two types:

• Venial - forgiven through the sacrament of Confession.
• Capital - meriting damnation.

In the later part of the 6th-century A.D., St. Gregory the Great (d. 604) in his work Moralia in Job, introduced the seven deadly sins.

Seven deadly sins. To make it sound more melodramatic, Capital Vices or Cardinal Sins.

• Lust (Latin, luxiria) - Depraved thought, unwholesome morality, desire for excitement, or need to be accepted or recognized by others
• Gluttony (Latin, gula) - Thoughtless waste of everything, overindulgence, misplaced sensuality, uncleanliness, and maliciously depriving others. Marked by refusal to share and unreasonable consumption of more than is necessary, especially in the case of food or water
• Greed (Latin, avaritia) - A strong desire to gain, especially in money or power. Disloyalty, deliberate betrayal, or treason, especially for personal gain or when compensated. Scavenging and hoarding of materials or objects.
• Sloth (Latin, acedia) - Apathy, idleness, and wastefulness of time. Laziness is particularly condemned because others must work harder to make up for it. Cowardice or irresponsibility. Abandomment.
• Wrath (Latin, ira) - Inappropriate [unrighteous] feelings of hatred and anger. Denial of the truth to others or self. Impatience with the law, or seeking revenge outside of justice. Unnecessary vigilanteism.
• Envy (Latin, invidia) - Grieving spite and resentment of material objects, accomplishments, or character traits of others, or wishing others to fail or come to harm.
• Pride (Latin, superbia) - Pride is known as the father of all sins. Pride is a desire to be more important or attractive to others, failing to give credit due to others, or excessive love of self.

Since i took the trouble of digging up the seven sins, i thought i might as well go the distance and dig up the seven virtues as well.

The Seven Virtues were derived from the Psychomachia ('Contest of the Soul'), an epic poem written by Aurelius Clemens Prudentius (c. 410) entailing the battle of good virtues and evil vices. The intense popularity of this work in the Middle Ages helped to spread the concept of Holy Virtue throughout Europe. Practicing these virtues is alleged to protect one against temptation from the Seven Deadly Sins, with each one having its counterpart.

The virtues ranked in ascending order of sanctity:

• Chastity (Latin, virtus) - opposes lust. Courage and boldness. Embracing of moral wholesomeness and achieving purity of thought through education and betterment.
• Abstinence (Latin, frenum) - opposes gluttony. Constant mindfulness of others and one's surroundings; practicing self-control, abstention, and moderation.
• Diligence (Latin, industria) - opposes sloth. A zealous and careful nature in one's actions and work. Decisive work ethic.
• Liberalty (Latin, liberalitas) - opposes greed. Generosity. Willingness to give. A nobility of thought or actions.
• Patience (Latin, patientia) - opposes wrath. Forebearance and endurance through moderation. Resolving conflicts peacefully, as opposed to resorting to violence.
• Kindness (Latin, humanitas) - opposes envy. Charity, compassion, friendship, and sympathy without prejudice.
• Humility (Latin, humilitas) - opposes pride. Modest behavior, selflessness, and the giving of respect.

Restraint is the keystone of the seven holy virtues. The other holy virtues are created through selfless pursuits:

Valour — Pursuit of Courage and Knowledge
Generosity — Pursuit of Will
Diligence — Pursuit of Ethics
Patience — Pursuit of Peace
Kindness — Pursuit of Charity
Humility — Pursuit of Modesty

Several of these virtues interlink, and various attempts at causal hierarchy have been made. For example, restraint is implied in patience, as well as humility and most of the others. Each sin is a particular way of applying heroic attributes.

Prudentius probably wrote about seven virtues only because St. Gregory came up with the seven sins. This is very much in keeping with the concept of duality.

Its amazing. The complex nature of the schema that was developed in cross referencing each of these attributes.

Why did i type all that ?? 'Cos i got curious. Where does the concept of God fit into any of the above mentioned ??

I believe God is a notion. God is the quintessential human being that our forefathers made out to be. God is an icon that we should aspire to be. Faith is a social norm. The constant propagation of faith has made it conventional wisdom. With time, the true purpose of its creation has been forgotten and has been replaced with malicious undertones.

One should not blindly have faith. One should understand and then believe.

Joblessnes, the ultimate frontier. It's got me sitting in office on a saturday evening, listening to madonna against the machine and typing this. I'm compelled not to do anything even remotely productive/useful. It's like, on weekends everything takes a break. Including sanity. Its a nice feeling though.

I wish temporary insanity wasn't so temporary. Sometimes i get the feeling what if i can just lose my senses for a while and get it back whenever i wanted it. Too many things happening around me which i dont really want to see or hear, experience at a holistic level.

"Patience is the companion of wisdom" - St. Augustine.

I can feel myself losing my patience at times. When i see stuff that is so blatantly juvenile, i cant seem to take it anymore. All this steroetyped bull shit is getting to me nowadays. It didnt bother me as much earlier, but of late i'm not able to let it go. I'm so sick of the word "cool". Anything that is perceived as cool tends to piss me off.

English. Its just another language. Just 'cos you can speak it better than someone else, does that make you cool. That is so freakin sad. Pretty much any average american can speak relatively better english than an average indian. Does that make the american's "cooler" than us. That is not to say no other country speaks english. Arbitly picked up U.S as an example. But it is the most common of "standards" that we tend to treat as a benchmark.

This guy I know, rather unfortunately, actually said "Ability to speak english determines one's character". That statement was made in public, in front of a reasonably large audience of well educated individuals. Not one of them flinched when he said that. Thats what disgusted me more than the statement itself. If that fool had said, it determines personality there is some element of truth in it and i'd have backed off. But character !!!!. I lost all respect for him after that. I could never bring myself to respect him as a normal human being.

What is "cool" if not a terribly misplaced sense of sophistication ?? Who decides ?? The latest lingo on the latest smash hit TV serial / movie is thought of as cool ?? Have all people decided to take leave of their senses ?? As the saying goes, if common sense is so common, why is it so hard to find ??

I know its easy to misunderstand words if one does not understand the context in which they are used.

Whats arrogance if not the vulgar display of confidence ???
Whats eloquence if not the superfluous use of words ???
Whats class if not a civilised form of vulgar ???
Whats contemporary if not the latest definition of fashion ???

Socially accepted norms and mass hysteria. Are they really that different ?? Norms tend to change. Norms are not rules, hence the flexibility when it comes to breaking them. Lets generalise a bit. Have you noticed how brand conscious the younger generation of guys have become ???. They need to right clothing, the right footwear, the right accessories. Suddenly stuff like Nike, Lee, and Nokia have taken on a whole new meaning. The underlying context in which these terms are used has undergone a complete paradigm shift.

Any change requires some kind of effort to be put into it. Too many kids are concentrating their energies on relatively pointless things. Read an interview sometime back where this 14 yr old guy says he wont be seen with his friends if he is not wearing some kind of branded clothing. I fail to understand this. I remember how i was when i was 14. Meeting a friend basically meant, an excuse to wear some faded t-shirt and some worn pair of jeans.

Am i still living in the past ?? Is the rate at which change happens, faster than the rate at which i change ??

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea,
And love is a thing that never go wrong,
And I am Marie of Romania.

-- Dorothy Parker
Not so deep as a well (1937)

My, new found, favourite selection of words.

Havent done this in a while. Almost forgotten the feeling. That overwhelming feeling, when you are doing something and you just cant help yourself. This is not that feeling. I'm almost pushing myself to type some stuff. You want to stop typing and you just cant. You try and fail, then you try again only to fail again. Suddenly you are so tired, you stop trying. You dont really care whats going up in your blog anymore. Thats exactly whats happening here. I just wanted to type. No particular sequence of thoughts. No meaningful choice of words. Not necessarily coherent. Just type.

I'm bored. I can tell from past experience thats a very bad state of mind. Not 'cos I dont know what to do, but 'cos my imagination kicks in and I've all kinds of ideas. About a variety of things. Mostly questions. And I never spend more than few minutes contemplating the answer to those questions. Shit, thats scary. Shows a total lack of direction.

Bored is the wrong word. Restless is the right word. Or maybe not. I dont know and I dont think I really care anymore. So what if I dont know the right word. So what if I dont know what is running in my head. So what if I'm confused. Confusion is good, it always leads to clarity.

What is the worst thing that one can expect ?? I say its empathy. How, on gods green earth, can we possibly expect someone to actually understand whats running in our head ?? Of course not. Empathy - the word was invented out of purely selfish motives. A perfect word for someone who's life is so sad, there is nobody to listen to him.

"The aim of life is self development" - Oscar Wilde. What the hell does that mean ?? Development is an open ended word. Self development is way too open for interpretation to derive anything meaningful.

I just want to melt away into something abstract and finally not exist at all. I want to forget this mortal presence of mine. I dont want any trace of my existence - physical or otherwise. I want to exist in a metaphysical state. I dont want to have any form or substance. I want to be just a thought, a concept. Something that is not bound by constraints. Something that will allow any person to realise their full potential. I always thought 'Hope' was the most powerful and the most influential state that a mind can ever be possessed by. It can drive an individual beyond reason. Beyond rationale. Of late, i've been thinking what 'Imagination' is capable of.

"I am not young enough to know everything" - Mark Twain. Do you really understand what he meant ?? If you do, I'm sure you have got it right. Know why ?? The reason that line sounds so appealing is because it allows you to decide for yourself what he might have meant when he said that.

There is an undeniable beauty about imagination. Nobody is wrong, only less right. Anything that binds you, anything that compels you is bad for you. Pretty much everything you do should be a function of your own free will. Like right now, I'm compelled to type. And hence, all of this. Is it doing me a whole lot of good ?? I guess not. Is this going to come back to hurt me at some point in time ?? I dont know and I dont care.

So whats the point I'm trying to make with this post. Nothing. I've nothing to say. Go find your own truth and make your own mistakes. Where's the fun if someone else is going to do it for you ??

My dreams feel real and reality feels like a dream